so far, 2019 has been a rough year. i spent most of it dealing with depression and burnout.

i’m not finishing witchtober. i’m not doing it next year. i’m not doing any art challenges next year.

i have so many things i need to finish, and not enough focus for challenges and obligations. it makes me sad, but i need to prioritize. this is the second year since 2013 that i haven’t done a summary of art. i didn’t do enough for it.

the depression is doing better. i have a med that’s working, i have seen progress. but i still have really bad days. this has been one of them. i couldn’t eat all my dinner. i felt overheated and crowded. i wanted to throw things and cry. i only cried though. it’s still lingering, ready to spill. i’m going to try and distract myself with games or something.

since september, i’ve been trying to change my hair from blue (which it’s been for several years) to a deep red. i used a fuchsia as my intermediary step, but something about the red isn’t taking on part of my hair. i’m gonna cut out the other colours, and leave just the red. it’ll be 3-5 inches, but i think it’s time for a fresh start. (shoutout to my sister for the idea, it’s good.)

started shading on the clothing reference.

i’m tired. i feel like shit. i’m unsatisfied with things i’m doing. i’m frustrated with myself over minor things that don’t matter in the long run. i really want this year to be over and next year to just. be. better.

please let 2020 be better. we need an easy year.