it’s been two months since i made an entry here. in that time, the world has gone into quarantine. i’ve been…existing. coping. mostly.

i got a new computer for my birthday, so i’ve been able to do some art stuff. haven’t finished anything to speak of, but i’ve worked on some stuff. when i have substantial progress, i’ve been sharing it to twitter.

my birthday was in March, in the before time. it was a very nice family thing, just us and bestie A having a quiet dinner at Outback. and the next day, restaurants were takeout only. it’s weird how much the world has changed in just two months.

new computer means i’m able to game more, too. been slowly easing back into GTA, and i’ve been pulled into the Sims 4 pretty hard. i made some custom content for specific characters, and it looks pretty great.

Animal Crossing New Horizons has basically become my life. i can’t go out and sit at a park because all of them are closed, but i have a beautiful island to take care of, and i can take short trips to other islands, too.

the COVID stimulus money has arrived. i did responsible things. made a credit card payment. made a car payment. i did self care things/retail therapy. bought clothing. bought a card game. i had…thoughts…on the money, especially since i wound up having to wait for the paper check.

i hate that piece of paper. i hate that there’s a name other than the Dept. of Treasury staff that signed it. i feel like taking that money means i approve of the decisions made by my government. i wasn’t happy to see a “big check with [his] name on it.” i was sick. i spent a lot of time agonizing over what it meant to me to deposit that money. i cried. and if i didn’t need to keep the fucking thing, i’d burn it.

but having that money meant that i could lower some of my outstanding bills. and i was able to use some of it to help queer youth. in the end, it’s a good thing, but it still makes my anxiety spike just thinking about the night i got it.

i have good news on the health front! changing up my meds has helped a lot, and my last test results were phenomenally good. i have a appointment this week to check in on how things are going. but i’m feeling pretty good about it all right now.

one of the things i’ve been enjoying is the “On This Day” feature in OneDrive. i’m gonna be skipping the end of this month, though. i know what’s coming, and i don’t want to be reminded.

on a related note, five years ago today, we adopted Lila. she really did claim me right from the start.

i miss you forever, grumpy old lady. my syrup-head. my Princess Pretty Paws.

my Lila.